


To Have & Not Hold

by starkinabox



Category: Glee
Genre: Alive Finn Hudson, Blaine Unfriendly, M/M, Season 5 AU, Weddings, psuedo-incest
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-07
Updated: 2017-11-01
Packaged: 2019-01-10 10:27:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,688
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12297267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starkinabox/pseuds/starkinabox
Summary: "Are you telling me I should steal the groom, then?"The day Blaine Anderson proposes to Kurt Hummel is the day Finn Hudson happens to realise he's irrevocably in love with his step-brother.Now, he must find a way of letting Kurt know before the wedding happens. It's up to him to give Kurt the chance to live with someone else, someone who would never hurt him the way Blaine has in the past.Of course, it probably helps that he has a few friends backing him in his corner.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> So, this is me attempting at writing another Furt fan fiction. I'm not sure how frequent I'll be updating or anything, but here we are. 
> 
> It's rated Teen for now, but really, that's subject to change. And I'll add any tags necessary as I update. 
> 
> Hopefully you all enjoy!

Finn Hudson was having a really good day. His step-brother, Kurt, was visiting Lima for the week, which was awesome. Ever since Kurt had moved to New York and had started to go to NYADA, the two of them just hadn't spent a whole lot of time together.

At first, it had been because Finn had enlisted in the army, and then once he had been kicked out (they called it an honourable discharge, but what was so honourable about shooting yourself in the leg while trying to clean your gun?), it was because Finn couldn't be around Rachel after she'd cheated on him. Then, he got busy with directing Grease, and then he had somehow become the substitute coach for the Glee Club. And, it wasn't like he and Kurt had time to hang out during Mr. Schue and Miss P's wedding-that-wasn't. Instead, he'd gotten it in his head that maybe Rachel wanted him back, but apparently all he was good for was a one-night stand.

And even after Finn stopped helping out with Glee, he had college. He had decided to become a teacher, because helping with Glee had proved to him that he was good at something. And he liked working with kids, even if he had gone to school with half of the current club. Sure, he didn't know Joe or Sugar as well as he knew, say Artie or Brittany, but they had still performed on stage together. And Sam was still living with Finn's mom and Burt, so when Finn went over there for Friday night dinners, there sat Sam.

But the fact remained. Finn and Kurt hadn't had much time to hang out, and alright, so maybe it wasn't really either of their faults that they both got into college late in the year and therefore had more schooling than most people to make up for. But Kurt was home for the week, and that was really all Finn cared about.

Okay, so perhaps Kurt had come home to hang out with Blaine for the week, as the two of them had gotten back together during the-wedding-that-wasn't, but Finn figured Kurt could easily spend at least a few hours with his favourite brother.

After Glee was let out, Finn walked over to where Blaine and Sam were whispering about something. He figured if anyone would know where Kurt was, it would probably be Blaine.

"Hey, Blaine," Finn greeted.

Blaine and Sam abruptly stopped whispering, and turned to look at Finn, a smile on both of their faces.

"Hey, Finn," Blaine greeted, happily. "What do you need?"

"I was just wondering if you knew if Kurt had any plans today. I know he's heading back to New York this weekend, and I just wanted to see if he wanted to hang out."

Blaine nodded his head. "Yeah, actually, if you want to keep him distracted for a few hours tomorrow afternoon, that would be really awesome."

"What's tomorrow afternoon?" Finn asked, just a little suspicious.

"I'm proposing to Kurt," Blaine responded, grinning, looking pleased with himself.

"But you haven't even graduated high school," Finn protested.

"Says the guy who proposed to his girlfriend when they were both in high school," Blaine responded flatly, narrowing his eyes.

"I know what I did, and that's why I really don't know if this is a good idea, Blaine. Look how that turned out for Rachel and I."

"Well," Blaine replied, his voice suddenly cold, "no offence or anything, but Kurt and I _aren't_ you and Rachel. So your experiences don't mean anything. And anyways, it's not like Kurt and I have to get married _while_ in high school. We'll wait until we're both attending NYADA."

Finn resisted the urge to point out that Blaine might not even make it into NYADA next year, because if Kurt didn't make it on his first chance, really, Blaine didn't have much of a chance. His step-brother was light-years more talented than Blaine was.

"Fine. I won't stop you from proposing," Finn said, instead of anything he really wanted to say.

"Will you keep Kurt occupied then?"

Finn nodded his head. He could keep Kurt occupied while Blaine did whatever ridiculously over-the-top thing he needed to do to propose. If it meant spending time with Kurt, he could definitely do it.

"Great," Blaine replied, his voice filled with warmth again. "Do whatever you want with him. Just bring him to Dalton Academy tomorrow at two in the afternoon, alright?"

There was a small part of Finn that wanted to ask what exactly Blaine was planning on doing, but the rest of him simply didn't care. It didn't concern him, anyways.

"Alright. I won't be late," Finn responded.

"And don't tell Kurt!" Blaine added, a slightly harsh tone to his voice.

Rolling his eyes, Finn kept his voice calm as he said, "Of course not. I'm not an idiot, Blaine." Then, he turned to Sam, and smiled. "I'll see you at dinner tonight, Sam."

"Yeah, definitely," Sam responded, grinning. He held his fist out for Finn to bump, which Finn did, despite still being weirded out that technically speaking, he was like a mentor to Sam, and yet here was Sam, still treating Finn like an old friend.

Shaking the thought away, Finn managed one last grin at Blaine, before deciding to leave the choir room.

His day still wasn't horrible, although maybe it wasn't as good as it had been as well. But, at least he'd be able to spend the next day hanging with Kurt, even if the lead up was to a proposal from Blaine. Even if he wasn't even sure that Blaine was good enough for Kurt, not after Blaine had cheated on him once already. What would keep Blaine from cheating again when Kurt went back to New York? A ring didn't mean anything if one person didn't take the commitment to a hundred percent. And honestly, Finn couldn't see Blaine being willing to commit.

He hoped Kurt would tell Blaine no the next day, that Kurt would insist they were too young. Hopefully Kurt would tell Blaine they should wait until later, to see how well their relationship held in case Blaine didn't make it into NYADA.

Finn wasn't entirely sure why he didn't want Kurt to say yes to Blaine, he just knew it wrenched his gut whenever he thought about it. So long as Kurt told Blaine no though, it would be alright. Fun would be alright, if Kurt told Blaine no. He just had to focus on that thought, and then Finn would be good. Because there was no way Kurt would actually accept Blaine's proposal, _was_ there?

 


	2. One: Breaking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Did Blaine ask you to drive me to Westerville to do some grand romantic gesture or something?" Kurt asked, laughing as though he'd just said something funny.
> 
> Finn went silent, not wanting to exactly lie to Kurt, even though he probably should. Blaine wouldn't be too happy with him if he managed to screw this up, and considering how Finn still had to put up with the much shorter boy for the rest of the year in Glee, he figured he shouldn't piss Blaine off too much.
> 
> "Oh my gosh, he is, isn't he?" Kurt asked when Finn didn't say anything for a few moments.

Finn hated how fast time went sometimes. Or, more specifically, how fast time went when he was hanging with Kurt. He had dragged Kurt out of the house at nearly eight in the morning, and the two of them were having fun wasting gas and just driving around, listening to music. They had already listened to one of Kurt's playlists, and were making their way through one of Finn's.

"Didn't you sing this to Rachel during Sophomore year?" Kurt queried when 'Jessie's Girl' by Rick Springfield starting playing on the playlist.

Feeling slightly irritated by the question, Finn skipped the song. He wanted the last hour he had with Kurt to be spent without talking about Finn's failure of a love life.

"Okay, jeez," Kurt mumbled. "I won't talk anymore."

Finn let out an exhausted sigh. "No, that's not it," he told Kurt. "I just, I don't want to talk about anything else but us. It's just that I've missed getting to hang out with you, Kurt."

Finn snuck a small glance at Kurt from the corner of his eyes, and saw a small frown on the other boy's face.

"If that's all it is, you know you could've come to New York to visit, right?"

"When?" Finn asked, quietly. "I mean, I was in the army, and then there was the whole break-up fiasco, and then I started helping with the Glee Club, and then I enrolled into college. And, you've been to Lima a few times, but it feels like every time you come, you want to do everything but hang out with me. Then, I heard you were coming for a couple weeks, and I thought maybe, just maybe we could hang out. And then I hear you've come just to spend time with Blaine, and do you know how that made me feel, Kurt? I thought we were closer than that, and it feels like you're pushing me away lately, and I just...I know it's not your fault."

"I've been living my dream, Finn," Kurt said in a small voice. "I got into the school of my dreams, and I'm sorry that means we haven't had a lot of time to hang out - wait, where are we going?"

Finn sighed. "We're just driving, dude. Isn't that what we agreed to do this morning when I awoke you at seven o'clock?"

"Well, yes, but this is the way to Westerville, Finn. I thought we were going to stay around Lima."

Not taking his eyes off the road, Finn shrugged. "I didn't realise where I was going, I guess." He wouldn't let Blaine think he was trying to keep Kurt away from the crazy proposal that was supposed to happen at Dalton, no matter how badly Finn wanted to. Even though Finn knew he could take the much smaller boy in a fight, he didn't want to make Kurt upset if he hurt Blaine. So, yes, that unfortunately meant having to take Kurt to Dalton so Blaine could do his stupid proposal.

"You know, you really suck at lying, Finn Hudson," Kurt pointed out, and there was a bit of laughter in his voice.

"I'm not lying!" Finn defended himself.

"Did Blaine ask you to drive me to Westerville to do some grand romantic gesture or something?" Kurt asked, laughing as though he'd just said something funny.

Finn went silent, not wanting to exactly lie to Kurt, even though he probably should. Blaine wouldn't be too happy with him if he managed to screw this up, and considering how Finn still had to put up with the much shorter boy for the rest of the year in Glee, he figured he shouldn't piss Blaine off too much.

"Oh my gosh, he is, isn't he?" Kurt asked when Finn didn't say anything for a few moments.

"No," Finn tried, looking at Kurt who looked like he was trying to keep from laughing. "He's not! We're just...driving."

"It's okay, I won't tell him," Kurt promised, his lips right in a smile. "I'll even act surprised. And it's not like I know what he's going to be doing, exactly, right?"

Finn knew he was frowning, because now he was thinking of the stupid proposal that stupid Anderson was planning on doing, and he wished now, more than ever, that he could just drive Kurt away from Westerville, away from Dalton.

"What's wrong, Finn?" Kurt asked, his voice soft with worry.

Finn shook his head, not wanting to make Kurt upset. "It's nothing." He couldn't figure out why he was so upset about Blaine wanting to propose to Kurt. Sure, he didn't think Blaine was good enough for Kurt, mainly 'cause of the whole cheating thing, but that had been a whole year ago. And the two of them had gotten back together shortly after the wedding-that-wasn't, so Finn was confused why he couldn't be happy for his brother.

Maybe it was just because he was being protective of Kurt, and not wanting to see his brother get his heart broken, but Finn had a feeling that wasn't it.

Finn managed to sneak a peek over at Kurt's expression, and saw the smaller boy chewing his lip nervously, while looking at Finn.

"Is Blaine planning something bad? I figure it's probably a huge romantic gesture, just because that's the thing he'd do. But you just seem so nervous, and I think it's making me nervous."

Letting out a sigh, Finn decided he had enough time to pull over to the side of road for a few moments, without being late to Blaine's crackpot proposal. Doing just that, Finn looked over at Kurt right before he shut off his truck.

"Finn? Why did we stop?"

Taking a deep breath, Finn prepared to try to vocalise all his worries from the past day and a half, since Blaine told him about his stupid proposal idea. He hoped he wouldn't babble too much and ruin the surprise though.

"You ever feel like just driving away from everyone around here and just going and making a new life somewhere where no one knows us? Somewhere where we're not Finn Hudson, the idiot who got kicked out of the army, and Kurt Hummel, the boy who—shit, that doesn't work. You've already done that, by going off to New York—"

"Finn," Kurt interrupted, looking concerned. "What's the matter?"

"I don't _want_ to take you to Westerville!" Finn exclaimed, just a little louder than he intended. "I don't want to take you to Anderson, and I don't want you to leave my life."

If anything, that only caused Kurt to look extremely baffled. "What are you talking about, Finn? I'm not going to leave you. Sure, I'll be going back to New York tomorrow, but you know that already."

"I can't lose you, Kurt," Finn whispered, his voice breaking as he attempted to fight back the tears that were threatening to fall.

"I don't get how you think you're going to lose me," Kurt said, looking extremely worried. "I'll be here for you, you know I'm just one phone call away. I know I live in New York now, and I know you miss me. But I promise, I won't leave your life."

The tears finally made their way down Finn's face, and he found himself unable to speak for several minutes, as he sobbed in front of his step-brother. Finn wasn't even sure of why he was crying, to be honest. He _was_ crying though, and it sucked.

Finn had no idea how long the two of them sat there, while he cried like a baby, but he had a feeling they had been pulled over longer than he intended. Indeed, when he finally noticed the time, he realised it was a lot closer to two then he had been hoping, and he groaned.

"We have to go before Blaine kills me," Finn muttered, more so to himself, than to Kurt. He quickly dried his face of tears with the back of his hand, and let out a few quiet snuffles.

"Finn—" Kurt attempted, putting his hand out, as if to comfort Finn, or maybe to stop him from driving, but he quickly pulled it back. "I don't think Blaine will be angry if you don't get me there on time. I don't want you to drive if you're too upset to drive."

Finn mustered up the best fake-sincere smile he could, and turned to look at Kurt. "No, don't worry, Kurt. I'm fine, honestly. Don't listen to me, okay? I think I'm just getting lonely and emotional."

Kurt looked less than convinced, but after staring at Finn for several moments, he sighed. "Okay, if you say so, Finn."

"I say so," Finn whispered, trying to convince himself as much as he was trying to convince Kurt.

He had to get Kurt to Blaine, had to give Kurt the chance to be happy, even if, for some reason, it hurt him to think of Kurt and Blaine married and happy together. And anyways, there was always that chance that Kurt would say no, but Finn wasn't about to admit out loud that that was the outcome he was looking for.

With that resolve in mind, Finn started up his truck again, and made his way to Westerville, to deliver Kurt to his proposal that he'd hopefully turn down.

Perhaps the day wouldn't be a complete loss after all. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait. I don't always get time to write stuff because I do have a job and I'm also in college right now. 
> 
> So yeah, I'm sorry it took so long to get it up. Updates will probably be sporadic because I do have other books I'm working on at the same time as well. 
> 
> Hopefully you all enjoyed the chapter despite the long wait though!


End file.
